How to manage stress before a first date?

How to manage stress before a first date?

You will soon meet the elected of your heart, and your excitement is dried up by a small problem: you panic! What if I did not like him? And if he or she did not please me? What if we had nothing to say to each other? And even worse: if I took a rake? Well yes, at the approach of the fateful moment, things happen in your head!

Stop this mental logorrhea that only fuels your fears. According to Alfred de Musset, “we do not joke with love,” but I say: we do not joke with stress! The secret is, as our friend Stoic Epictetus said, “There is what depends on us, there is what does not depend on us,” and it is with this maxim in mind that you will become Stoic. You will say: “easier said than done,” it’s true, I grant you, but by following my advice, below, you will not fall into the trap of stress, and you will go to your place. Meet you with a light heart.

1. Accept not to master everything

It’s stronger than you; you ride the bauble. It’s the unknown that scares you. You want to control everything, know in advance what will happen. You are planning far. No, but already, who asked you to put yourself in this state? You put pressure on yourself! Yes, perfectly, you are the sole responsible!

How does your stress state trigger? It’s very simple, you start with a thought and then react to that thought (action/reaction) then you trigger another thought, and so on, this is called the snowball effect. Then sometimes you go so far that you somatize and you get sick. And you do not control yourself, you panic and you lose all your common sense.

And the totality is when you ask the opinion of your entourage: everyone goes out of his own experience and unwittingly influences you, disturbs you and puts pressure on you.

So, to avoid diving headlong into this state of counterproductive stress, do not focus on the event because it is by stubbornness on something that the thing becomes obsessive and stressful.

My tip: stay in the moment, be re-a-list: yes, there now at this precise second, everything is fine, your feelings on the person you are going to date is positive? So stay on it and Basta, stop your cinema!

Stay calm and objective on the situation and in this way, your body and your spirit will thank you for it! It would be a shame if you went to your appointment a painful ball in the stomach, right?!

And do you say that if you knew everything in advance, would life have so much flavor? Imagine reading a book already knowing the end what interest?

2. Help!

Haro on beliefs! It is your thoughts that condition your reality and undermine your confidence and even your good mood. So, I reassure you, everyone makes the same mistake, we are all tempted to make films. Before your appointment, you must be shielded and do not be psychotic. Here are some of my tips:

  • Focus only on the facts: you chat with someone you are interested in: Good! You have discovered affinities: Good! You have agreed on ALL BOTH meet you: Good! Keep this positive that you felt during your exchanges, and this will strongly condition your state of mind on the day of the appointment.
  • Keep your self-confidence: take the time to list your qualities and your favorable points to imbue your conscience with your value.
  • Make up a positive autosuggestion phrase that you will repeat in case of stress like a mantra like, “Everything is going to be okay,” “I know what I’m worth.”
  • Do not stay passive: to remain positive, you have to be in action: do you have a negative thought about yourself or this date? Do an activity that relaxes you or starts a small personal challenge in an area so that you do not let that thinking settle in and you’re upset, and you’ll see that the cursor will swing back to the positive because you’ll be proud you and bloated for your appointment!
  • Finally, keep this sentence in mind: “I never lose: either I win, or I learn” (Nelson Mandela). So, if everything does not happen as you wanted during the appointment, at least you will be fixed, and you will advance!

3. Recenter you

Know that stress loves speed. So the solution: slow down! How? Well, there are some straightforward techniques to calm your “crazy” mind:

  • Breathe slowly through the belly by thinking back to your romantic exchanges with this charming person that you will finally date (you can even imagine pleasant things, and these films are allowed as positive!) And stay a few moments in your magic bubble.
  • Calm your mind: this is important because in this way you reset the counters and you find your energy and reflect beautiful ideas in you as after a good night’s sleep (has not it ever happened to you the night of you to wake up with the solution to a problem?

Three solutions:

  1. Either by meditation: everything can be a pretext for this practice, there is not necessarily need to be a pro or to sit cross-legged in a place in total calm. The main thing is to practice a soothing activity such as Yoga or even cooking. The principle? While being focused on your task, it is a question of making slow gestures and to promote the calm in you thanks to the listening of your five senses in the present moment. And if a negative thought appears, let it run like an airplane that passes
  2. Either by writing: for skeptics of meditation, this exercise can be a good alternative and can be very useful: the goal is to clear your head to write down all your apprehensions, your wishes, your desires and everything that comes to your mind. Once your sore on the paper, your head will be released from this mental pollution.
  3. Play sports: this is also a time for you to release endorphins and activate your serotonin enemies of stress and therefore necessary for your well-being and your good mood. And then, it does not hurt to tone up a little to feel at the top of your seduction and boost your confidence in you!

4. Organize your appointment

first date luxe

The best is to prepare achecklist, so you do not forget that you will complete as you go so you do not forget the D-Day and including the following points:

  • Your vision of the couple: your expectations and what is prohibitive for you.
  • Place and time of the appointment.
  • Your outfit for the day D: do not take the lead, the main thing is to stay yourself so no stress, there is no point in “disguising” you to feel uncomfortable in front of the potential (the elected from your heart.
  • Your questions to ask this unknown and the points on which you will not derogate.
  • The topics of conversation: no stress either, resume the topics covered during your virtual conversations then look for topics that interest your story in identifying if the other is in the same trip as you if he or she is on the same length of the wave.

The day of the appointment: you will only have to check your list and voila! You will quietly join your love conquest; you will accept that things go as they should and let Cupid spread his wings or not.

Categories: Dating

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